alright guys today is almost the end of my 24 hour fast I will be done at 2:52 hahaha what a weird time so I will just make it 3 but I am going to try and get past that because I have class at 3:45-5:15 then I am going to go to the gym and I prolly wont eat again I'm living off coffee, poweraid zero, and 3 ballerina tea that helps remove excess waste from my body basically i'm going to the bathroom a lot to lose a few starter lbs. I put lemon and 4 splenda dots in it so its alright but it smells terrible because its super bitter it has senna in it and that is what is making it "do WORK" hahaha. Yesterday I didn't eat healthy at all and I can tell by the way I go to the bathroom but I really don't remember what I ate actually because I was so busy but I did go to the gym and went on the elliptical for 33 minutes. It has been a long time since I have gone I was focusing how long i could stay on it rather than how many calories I burned because I was becoming very frustrated with how out of shape I am! Today is a good day I feel awesome fasting I was to see how far I can take this! This is an updated picture of me and well I got really fat so I look terrible and puffy and lumpy I will not be this weight anymore it is coming off and I will be 100 lbs again! BY DECEMBER! I feel like I'm a failure and I scare everyone in my life away except Teddy so here are lyrics to Sadie that I am listening to that really show how I feel! I know its like super stupid but I'm really feeling it! SO I DID MY FIRST 27 HOUR FAST YEY!!!!!!!! I broke my fast with a salad with good seasons dressing and a baby tomato and 3 slices of beets it was so good but i hate eating so I figured i'd eat something healthy!

SADIE
You're on your own my little nightmare you cannot stay here
It's far too bright for you
If they attack you just lay there,
Play dead dear, it's your only hope of pulling through.

And seconds they seem like a lifetime.
A dream, recurring, a dream that can't come true.
And they'll pin it all on you
after all you've been put through.

"Sadie G. she's crazy, see?"
That's what the white coats say.
Now Ms. Susan A. you're losing
every opportunity to put us all away.

Now run along my little nightmare.
Your job is done here.
You've scared them all to death.
If they revive them just sit there.
Just smile dear. Make them thankful for every breath.

The sentence may seem like a lifetime,
a scream, that's curdling the blood they found on you.
And your knives and clothing too.
Charlie's broken .22

"Sadie G. she's crazy, see?"
That's what the white coats say.
Now Ms. Susan A. you're losing
every opportunity.

Well they found you and they shipped you up the river the same way that you've bound and gaged.
You've shot and stab.
You tried to set them free, but they've thrown away the keys.

[Spoken:]
"He represented a God to me that was so beautiful that I'd do anything for him.
I'd do anything for God.
Even murder, if I believed it was right.
How could it not be right if it is done with love?
I have no remorse for doing what was right to me.
I have no guilt in me."

well good afternoon my diet lovers! hahah I'm in a good mood today I slept well wok up refreshed and well I went to bed tried hahah might be the lack of white carbs in my diet. I drank a lot of water and green tea yesterday so I was peeing a lot thank god it was zero calories! well today will be as good as yesterday since i didn't slip up at all or over eat. I am getting a bit tired today already prolly cuz my body is losing a lot of sugar it was once addicted too. Well I wont be able to get to the gym today because I have a paper due tomorrow, which was really due today but I got an extension and that was a good thing! Today is another all whole grais day YEY! I like the flavor of the food and it and it makes me poop and i'm full all the time so I eat less.

Breaakfast- Cinnimon Oat cereal (mother's)- 1 cup (230 calories)
Over the moon milk fat free- 1/2 cup (50 calories)
Strawberries- 2 medium (8 calories)
Crystal lite peach mango water- 1 bottle (10 calories)
TOTAL BEFORE DINNER: 298 and I can have 697 more but I wont get that high I was 156 under 1000

Hi Boys and Girls I'm finally back and ready to get thin! I heard about this no white food diet and apparently people are losing weight very quickly from it becauase whole grains will not make you fat if you eat them correctly. You can have fruits and veggies and potatoes but white potatoes in moderation so like I'm having a bowl of optima slim with 3 strawberries and I'll have some veggies in terriaki sauce and that will be the jist of it. I'm basically eatting tin amounts of food till I can control this hunger thing because being fat makes me want to eat all the time so now that I'm doing the high fiber protein thing i'll lose the weight. I'll keep a calorie count here and track my weight or just by pictures cuz I don't have a scale here, which sucks! I am going to write a paper eat some squash and zuchinni in terriaki sauce then go to the gym and do the rest of my reading home work.

Breakfast- Optima slim 1 cup (210 calories)
Over the Moon milk 1 cup (100 calories)
3 strawberries 1 med. 2 small (8 calories)
Breakfast total: 310 calories

Snack- Manderin orange snack cup (70 calories)

Calorie Total before dinner: 380

Dinner:

Well its about time I got some will power back. I can see the scale going down already I was 146.2 and my first goal weight is 140 and when I get to that it will be 130 I am almost there and then I'll be back to a size two in no time! I did compleate a 2 days fast I have my will power back and i'm so excited I'm going to fast today and then till tomorrow night after my radio show since I'm haivng Charlie come visit YEY MY BESTIE! METAL SHOW I am going tanning in the morning because I am taking off work and I'm going to clean the apartment so it looks okay for charlie hahah haven't seen him in a long time! I had a great weekend i fed horses and goats and sheep and ducks and chickens and a turkey hahaha! I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HE'S SO MUCH FUN OT BE WITH. I will go to the gym in the morning and wear something cute I'll update later.

alright I'm back to an all time low or being fat.....yes you heard me fat! how did i let myself get up to this number of 150! omg i'm almost 200 lbs and it scares the shit out of me! This is not healthy for me! Well today is the day for a new start I bought women's ultra mega Active vitamins and Revolution Thermogenic push female formula. I hope thes work for me and I know I should be taking a multi vitamin to help curb my appitiete and to give me energy. Teddy got me a new ipod nano so this should be kicking my ass to work out so I don't get bored. I put minus the bear, belle and sebastian, katy perry, lilly allen, blind guardian, vampire weekend, the ting tings, the killers, the delta spirit, and the killers this music is a way to keep me moving on that treadmill. I am going to the wresting gym with teddy tonight to workout while he trains some wrestlers to be better. I can't wait to see some results. I need to un-pack because my room is a mess from moving back from school! I will post later on my calories burned for a total at the end of the night. these diet pills make me ot hungry soooo happy!

well i had a bad time here of going off my diet and it sucks so today i have had 2 bottles of water and i am having 3 boca burgers for 240 calories and i decided to put calorie free mustard its yummy but i shouldn't be eating ugh i just can't stop eating! i don't understand why! and now i am having some peas and pearl onion for 180 calories which means i have had 420 calories for the day! then i am going to go to the gym after class then write a paper that is due tomorrow.

okay so basically I'm starting over i'm 147.8 and well lets just say i have to lose the weight its not healthy! so todday i'm having 600 calories and that is it a tuna sandwich on kaiser roll for 320 calories and a hummus and pretzle thing for 280 then i'm going to watch some TV then read then o laundry then jog and go to the gym!

well this morning was nice i woke up at 7:45 and then did homework for awhile and i kind of like getting up early just beacuse i can get more done and i don't feel as rushed! this morning i woke up and weighed 144.4 i am 5.6 lbs down and i'm so proud of myself! i'm going to the gym today after class and after i do some reading for myself since i don't have class tomorrow...tomorrow is the day that i go to the gym twice and it will be nice and i'll burn more calories. sorry i was gone for the weekend and it was a pain in my ass all teddy and i did was eat and eat and sleep and have sex hahaha just one of those weekends! this is what i currently look like i ca see my face thinning and i'm so happy! I must get dressed for class mwah talk to you all later today! i went to the gym for awhile and burned 360 calories everything looks brighter since i was running and i can smell everthing it pisses me off grrrr! and as of now i weigh......i'm to tired to do that right now!

well i gained a lbs and i'm having a bowl of split pea soup for 320 calories and thats basically it for today and i had 2 cans of diet pepsi so i'm not doing that bad! i'm going to the gym after i take a nap and do some homework and then i have my radio show meeting at 9:30 and i'm having a glass of passion tea with splenda.

good morning! OMG i am 145.4 and i ate like a pig yesterday which means i'm still losing weight and i ate less than I normally do so I'm happy today i'm going to the in a few hours since I have homework to do due on tuesday and monday and thursday and friday hahaha soooo much work to do. I have had steady weight loss for the entire week i'm so happy and i feel so good and you can tell i'm losing weight my stomach doesn't look all gross anymore its kinda flattening out and i don't have the pouch anymore! i've got to keep it up so i look good!

so good orning i went to the gym twice today and burned a total for 553 calories for the dya and only ate 105 then i passed out and slept dreaming about giant squids and capturing them and selling them on the market and i am 15.6 today which mean i lost 4.4 lbs which is rather good progress i know its mostly water weight and i know if i eat a lot i'll gain it all back! I'm so excited for the radio station meeting on the 15th i'm going to have my own show which i am looking forward too because it is something i love doing with music because i adore sharing music with people because my music makes me happy and i want to share it with everyone else! the idea for my show is that i am going to have someone read a poem from there is a light in the attic becaue my music is happy and kidish indie rock! its a good escape for the day after a long day of classes and homework and if you don't like it i don't care then don't listen to it! hahah....well i have to go get ready for class mwah i'm having a cup of coffee which i made too sweet haha with splenda and i'm having a bottle of water. Hello well i'm back from class and i had a tuna sandwich with 2 slices of bread for 80 calories a piece=160 calories and tuna for=175 and mayo=50 calories and mustard=0 calories and broccoli and cheese=225 calories which equals too=610 i'm going to the gym after class at 6 so i can burn 300 or 400 off!

well good afternoon its 1:18 and i've been up for an hour and i have eaten a lean pizza for 360 calories and an apple for 80 calories and an energy drink for 20 calories! that all equals=460 calories. this morning i weighed 146.4 lbs at least it is coming off! today is the day that i am going to the gym twice because i have no classes and well it will help me burn more calories and get a good jump on the week and because i skipped yesterday! I have to read beowulf today because i got a lot to read for both classes FUCK MAN too much today! well i have a three hour break between classes tomorrow so i'll do my grammar theory and pedagogy work between then and then after class i'll go to the gym shit and then i have to start working on a project with rick that is due on the 22nd! so much to do omg! well i'm gonna go and get ready for the gym! so i have been to the gym once already today i burned 310 calories which means i ate 50 calories today hahaha and i'm going to go again at 9 it will be a good day it has been pretty good so far i'm happy! i'm going to take a shower then go do my laundry cuz i have a ton to do which sucks! i had a turkey sandwich with 2 slices of wheat bread and 2 slices of turkey with a bit of mayo and calorie free yellow mustard for 300 calories so all together i have had 350 calories i'm gonna go back to the gym at 8:30 because i have to get these calories off! so i went to the gym again and burned 243 calories which mean i have only eaten 105 calories today which is not that bad i'm so proud of myself! tomorrow is gonna be amazing!

good morning i have the best news ever! i woke up and weighed myself and i weigh dun un dun 145.6 yeah i've lost some weight i'm happy! i'm soooooooooooooooo happy! today after italian i am going to come home and sleep the rest of the day i'm tired and it is raining out i last ate at 7:00 so my fast won be over till 7:00 pm and that is going to be tricky I don't know if i can do that but so far i have had a bottle of water and my birth control. actually i'm going to hit the gym around 3:00 pm so that gives me time to take a nap and it will get me out of the apartment when i want to eat! I'm getting smarter with this! well its 11:17 and its pouring out and i'm skipping my next class because i'm too tired and its too wet out and i didn't do my homework hahahah well okay so what one day out of six wont kill me! i'm reading gulliver's travels and its fun to read because its such a fairytale that i love it! my fast is over at 7pm and i wonder if i can make it that long i'm excited if i can i will be very please so far i have lost 4.4 lbs and i'm addicted to the success i'm having! i have 7 hours left grrrr i can do this!!!!!!!!!!! i love watching the rain fall is so comforting to hear the sound it always helps me drift to sleep when its hard to sleep because i'm hungry. I'm in such a good mood today because i'm listening to Belle & Sebastian and its raining and i know i wont eat because i'm so determined to be thin! i want to look the way i used to at 110 lbs omg i really want it! well its of to reading again i'm going to climb in bed this time and sunggle up with my good books and a cup of coffee i'm going to read for 2 hours so i can get pretty far because tomorrow i don't have class and well i have to read beowulf for class and i love that book i've read it so many times that it is getting to me because i know what is going on it the book but i hate the translation my professor picked Seamus Heaney wrote the best translation in my opinion...but my thoughts don't matter of course! my room mates are making me go to the cafe with them i hope the food isn't gross! well today has been very lazy i didn't go to the gym beccause it was rainign all day and i hate rain and i ate at the cafe and then i had a grilled cheese and a glass of oj with vodka ugh i'm a pig!

good morning everyone! its a beautiful day out not a cloud in the sky...i have class from 9:45-11:15 and then i am going to go to the gym sometime after then i am going to watch a video on the english language at the library for class on thursday with my friend carl and then i'm going to come back and watch some TV and read for my English Novel class. it will keep my mind off of food hopefully. well its getting late i weighed myself i weigh 149.7 which is bad but i need to keep the weight off i haven't done any exercising in a whole year ugh!!!!!!! so now i have to start over..I have to get ready for class.. well class went well got assigned a project with rick and well he is easy to work with and we will get a good grade because we both are smart haha! well its 11:36 and i am going to have an apple because they are yummy and good for you...but i shouldn't be eating because i'm really trying to lose all this weigth! so far today i have had one bottle of water and now i'm going to have a jersey mac apple they are so good! I had a lean pizza for 330 calories so my total for the day so far is 330+80=410! so after the movie in the library i'm going to go to the gym and have some fun! I'm back in my room after watching that stupid movie on the start of the english language and now i'm watching wife swap and trying to read gulliver's travels for class but this show is so good and i'm going to the gym at 6:30 with alisandra and gonna have fun bruning those calories i put on tomorrow i hope i lost some weight cuz i'm depressed about how much i weigh! i only ate 410 calories and thats not that bad to what i normally eat. yesterday i had way too much to eat like chinese food and well a bagel and eggs! my mom keeps telling how upset she is about my weight and she always tells me i am heavy and i hate it because i think i'm ugly and i don't need someone else saying that they think i am too! i'm going to do some more work i'll post later one it is now 4:53. its 10:42 and i burned 300 calories at the gym on the elliptical after eating 810 calories for the entire day which means 510 calories for the day which is good i feel so accomplished! tomorrow should be a good weigh in!

well good morning i had a lot to eat yesterday and i'm not very happy about it blah but i will try harder to do what i want! this morning i weighed 148.4 and i'm not happy about it but well i will try harder i'll post the weight ticker after my shower

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good morning it is day two of my new year and well i didn't do so well yesterday because before bed i ate 4 pretzles and hummus which was not good i'm going to weigh myself and see the dent I made in my horribly fat self! the damage is 147.8 YEY!!!!!!!!!! I'm doing okay now since i am losing some weight i'm going to put off eating as late as i can as a kind of how i learn to fast thing again I'll bring water and soda to class and between I'll read my book that I have to read for class friday ugh its going to take me forever...this morning I am having a cup of coffee with splenda and after a bottle of water before class...I have to go get changed for class which I have at 9:45 in the morning till 11:15 then from 2:00 to 5:15 ugh long day shoot me! I will post my intake later and after class I am going to the gym to work my butt off! class was good today in my british medieval lit. class we focus on women within lit and its sooo exciting! I love to read an the first book is beowulf hahaha i'm such a nerd! I'm finnishing my cup of coffee its sooooo good! I also had a bottle of water in class and i feel hydrated and cant wait to get to the gym after my next class but i'm going to come back to my apartment first and get my sneakers! sooo happy to start my gym over! jackie is coming over for lunch i odn't know what i am going to do i don't want to eat but she does omg i'm in a bunch i'll just drink coffee or something like say i'm tired or somthing to get over the whole i'm not eating....ugh i'm having a turkey sandwich with swiss and mayo and mustard...couldn't resist! i'm horrible! i just came from the cafe with jackie and well i'm super hungry after watching her eat so i'm having a lean pizza thing for 370 calories. what can i do besides going to the gym to burn that many calories? I'm such a fatty i had pretzels and hummus shot me now i have the worst runs ever! I promise to myself tomorrow will be better!

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well god morning i have slept about 8 hours which to me is amazing because my body and mind now feels rested and I feel like I can take on the day much better now with everything that I am feeling. It is a beautiful day outside and I can tell by the way my room window looks out on the quad my apartment is in and I just found out my bestfriend is moving into the apartments right near me and that makes me smile! Today is going great so far I am going to take a shower then do my hair and makeup put on a dress go get my books with my roomate then I am going to hit the gym some time today and in between everything I am going to have a ton of water and diet pepsi I want to see how long i can go without eating because I am testing my body and am trying to have a fast very shortly. my weight this morning after i peed was 148.2 or 149.2 its all so confusing! but i'm fat! so it is to the gym for me today with my roomates yey! i'm starting everyone out on a good foot including myself! I will pot back with my calorie intake and my exercise and how much water I drank because water is very important! i drank a diet pepsi in my goblet it was good i'm gonna have another. i had a sandwich with ham and swiss cheese and mayo and mustard...and some pretzles and hummus! gross but i'll burn it off at the gym in a bit! today all i had was a ham sandwich with mayo and mustard and a piece of swiss cheese on wheat bread and 4 preztles and i had some scoops with salsa....i didn't have time to go to the gym because I was reading for HW i have to read a 308 page book by friday and i got the assignmet today....ugh well i didn't eat dinner so thats better i guess i stopped eating and i had another diet pepsi and now i am waiting for teddy to cal so i can get comfortable and read!

okay I'm back at school at the start of a new year and i put on 25 lbs and now even maybe more and it is terrifying but i promised myself and my mother that it would all come off soon so tomorrow is a new start to a new me and a new life because i hate the way i look and i need to feel better about myself...I will be going through a complete calorie reduction and fast sessions again i get done class very early so that means I am able to go to the gym when ever I please and I will start going back to the gym at least 6 days a week like I used too and my goal weight is still 100 lbs. I will weigh myself tomorrow and let you know how many lbs I have to lose so you guys can help me with kind words to keep me going....tomorrow starts by getting books and having an apple or not having anything but having a lot of water and going to the gym for an hour and a half. I will get motivated again and i will start sleeping 8 hours a night to get my correct hours so my body can lose more weight and rest because I am always so over tired. it is 11:52 and and I have to wait till teddy calls to get in bed because he is on his way home from my college which is over 2 hours away.......I hate that it so far away but i love him.....I will write tomorrow bye guys!

okay girl I have failed everyday since trying a fast and well since I am starting on a monday I thought it would help so lets see if it works. At work it is always tough for me to resist eating all the snacks cuz i love salty snacks like wheat crackers and cheese crackers! ugh! sooo tough! well my starting weight is 148 and thats a problem! so i stopped eating at 9 pm and its 12:42 and its about 15 hours since my last meal. and i have 9 hours left i can doooo this! i'll post after i get back from the wrestling gym! well it is 1:14 so i have 8 hours left in my fast shouldn't be too hard i'm gonna try and go two days without eating so i'll soo how i do i might just have some veggies when i get back from the gym with teddy after my fast is over and then start over from there.....lets see how i feel. 16 hours down 8 more to go!